It was four in the morning, I woke up with my heart pounding, shortness of breath and a knot in my stomach.
“Here we go again,” I thought.
My brain began racing through all my worries for my kids, “Just take me now, Lord. I don’t have the strength for this!”
Yep! I am smack dab in the middle of the teen/young adult years.
One is 20, one is 16, and the youngest is 13 – all girls!!!
The estrogen in my house right now makes me feel like I’m on a crazy carnival ride, haha!
When the kids were little, I’d get annoyed with moms who would warn me about the teen years.
I honestly thought I’d be able to handle the teens just fine because they would be able to reason with me.
HA! Oh, they know how to reason me right up to my closet floor in tears, prayers, and questioning some of my life choices lol.
The enemy tries to use destructive thoughts to trip us up…
“Why did the Lord trust me as their mother?”
“I don’t want to do this anymore, I am done.”
“Lord, just take me home. I am not strong enough for this.”
“If I just left, my family would be better off without me and me without them.”
These thoughts can get me into a negative spiral faster than a lightning flash from a summer rainstorm.
I’ve been through some really challenging stuff in my life but…
Nothing has been as challenging as watching my teens try to navigate their hormones, search for their own identity, question who God is and deal with the things teens have to deal with – especially in today’s world!
It’s just SO much for a mama heart to process!
(And WHAT is up with the reality that peri-menopause hits us at the same time our kid’s hormones are freaking out?? Ack!)
Now if you are a mama of teens, you TOTALLY get this post so far. If you are a mama of young children, you may have already ripped up your “mother card” and flown the coop…
Wait!! Get your tape and put it back together. We have hope!! We will survive this stage too!
No matter what phase of motherhood you are in, there are challenges and days that giving up would feel SO MUCH EASIER!
If you are feeling like giving up or have felt that way, girl, I get it, and guess what? SO DOES GOD!
The Lord knows what season you are in, and it is not lost on Him how challenging it is.
He hasn’t forgotten about you. He has NOT abandoned you or your kids.
He is ALIVE and well – in fact, Jesus is sitting at the Lord’s side, interceding for you at this very moment.
“Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.” Romans 8:34 NKJV
Our suffering is meant to make us stronger and more deeply connected to our Lord. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
The suffering is what He is using to get me out of bed at 4 am and on my knees to fight for my kids.
He made it very clear to me that I am to pray fervently for my kids, and honestly, it’s the only thing that gives me peace in this phase of parenting.
If I take my eyes off the Lord, I will parent in fear. Prayer keeps my focus on Him and off of fear.
When we parent in fear, we can potentially push our kids away from us, Him, and His plans for them.
We can potentially step in the way of what He is doing in their lives. Therefore we must keep our focus on HIM!
“The LORD is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the LORD.” Lamentations 3:25-26 NLT
We must take our thoughts captive through Christ (2 Cor 10:5) – stop focusing on the feelings and start focusing on Him through His Word and prayer.
“The heart is deceitful above all things And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9 NKJV
Negative feelings move us to action; will yours move you to spiral in worry or to your knees in prayer?
Fear and anxiety is very uncomfortable, but we can use it as a reminder to pray!
There is no guarantee that our prayers will save, heal, or lead our kids in any way, but what our prayers do are put our hope in the Lord, which ultimately grows our faith in Him.
Our prayers allow the Lord to change our hearts no matter the situation, it reminds us HE is in control and that is all that matters.
It’s important to remember that we can not control the outcome of our children’s lives.
We can’t tell them what to be, what to do, and most importantly, we cannot be the Holy Spirit – no matter how desperately we want to be!
We must leave the outcome of our children’s lives up to the one who created them.
This is so much easier said than done, I get it!!
Today I am sharing with you some great resources you can use as you parent adolescence!
Before I share those resources, I want to let you know that I am also coaching moms of teenagers and young adults, so if you are struggling and looking for someone to walk next to you through these years, I can help!
CLICK HERE to learn more about my programs.
Helpful Tools & Resources for Raising Teens
Feeding the Mouth That Bites You – Best parenting method I have found for the teen years, by far my favorite, and it’s what we use in our home. I listened to the audiobook, got the book for reference, and I binge the podcast. www.feedingthemouth.com
The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children by Stormie OMartian
The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie OMartian
Find a prayer group!!! I cannot stress this enough! I just recently joined a prayer group of women at my church who are praying for me and encouraging me. Also, it is very healing to pray for other people.
This article has great advice as well, I especially love the prayer that uses Psalm 119:18.
One Extra Ordinary Marriage – Listen, if your marriage is suffering, it will make the teen and young adult years so much more difficult! You and your hubby need to be on the same page. Tony and Alisa helped us get to that place. I am sooo grateful for a healthy marriage. We have often had to cling to each other to get through the storms of emotions we experienced in these years. www.oneextraordinarymarriage.com
Last but not least, as mentioned before, you can look into coaching with me if you want someone to help you navigate these waters with you.
Blessings.
