Did you know it would be easier to cut your left arm off than it would be to stop getting angry?
Anger is a part of who you are. The Lord created us in His own image, and the Lord himself experiences all forms of emotion, including anger!
The difference between Him and us is our emotions are filtered through the lens of sin. His emotions are not; they are pure, holy, sound, and just.
Because we are sinners, we use our negative emotions, anger, fear, disgust, and sadness, to hurt ourselves and others. It’s frustrating, but it’s not a life sentence of destructive behavior, guilt, and shame.
Jesus gave us the ability to be free of guilt and shame and work through these challenges more healthily by keeping our eyes on Him!
Instead of viewing our negative emotions as a bad thing, we get to look at them as a thorn in our side. Yes, a burden we carry, yet a burden that keeps us humble. When in a healthy mindset, our negative emotions and experiences will help us grow and become stronger.
Anger (or any negative emotion) is not a bad thing. Anger is a tool we can use to grow more humble, closer to the Lord, and closer to our loved ones.
“Even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.” 2 Corinthians 12:7 NLT
I used to feel like a terrible, no-good mom who was always angry, had no joy, and daydreamed about being anywhere but home with my family.
Yet through the power of the Holy Spirit leading me to Jesus and my willingness to follow Him, even through the darkest valleys, the Lord was able to change my heart.
The Lord helped me to see that I am an amazing mama with amazing kids. I am a mama who gets angry and has and is still learning how to work through it in healthier ways. Ways that lead to growth, strength, and joy in my relationships with the Lord and my family!
The moms who work with me feel like they are terrible moms who have no joy in their motherhood journey. Yet through the power of the Holy Spirit leading them to Jesus, they can surrender to Him. They watch the Lord change their hearts from destructive, burnout mamas to joyful mamas who process negative emotions and challenges in a healthier way
“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.” Ezekiel 36:26-27 NLT
When working through destructive behaviors, the goal should not be to stop being angry.
In working through destructive behaviors, our goal should be learning how to process negative emotions and moments we “blow it” in a healthier way. We grow as we learn how to let go of the guilt and shame that keeps up in a destructive cycle and begin seeking out the joy in our life.
Our focus as a parent is healthiest when we focus on growing WITH our children.
The more transparent we are with our kids, the fewer expectations we place on ourselves and them to be perfect. We can demonstrate Jesus’ love and show our kids what it meant for Jesus to save us, not condemn us
Here are a few steps to begin walking toward joy and healthier emotional processing in your motherhood journey
- Take responsibility. Start with making time for the Lord daily, even if it’s only five minutes. Confess, repent and repeat – the Lord will always forgive you and delights in giving you mercy! (Micah 7:18) Also, when you “blow it” with someone, go back and say sorry for what you did first.
- Grow in awareness. Start with the Trigger Tracker and learning how to SIT & Pray. Click the links to learn more. The more awareness you bring to your triggers and the more consistent time you spend with the Lord, the easier it will be to hear the Lord’s voice in the heat of the moment.
- Stay Accountable. Consider working with a coach or mentor to help you get started on the right foot and stay accountable for your goals. You might consider working with me in my Motherhood Restored Program, where I help recognize, work through and change the patterns and mindsets that keep them stuck. You can read more about how working with me has helped these moms find joy and healthier emotional processing.
Start speaking over your motherhood journey right now…
“God created me to be an amazing wife and mama. He gave me an amazing husband and amazing kids. We all experience anger, fear, disgust, sadness, and burnout from time to time. God gave me the tools to learn how to work through these moments, and He allows these things to happen so we can keep our eyes on Him, stay humble and grow stronger together!”